BLOG: Can the inner child impact your adult self?
Do you ever wonder why sometimes you are reacting to a situation, but don’t understand why? Do you seek approval to the extent where you live for others and not yourself? Do you often feel that you self-sabotage your success? Do you often feel that you fear speaking your mind, incase you’re not heard, or someone may laugh or you’ll be judged?
As a child, we learn how to communicate with people and experience the world through our primary caregivers or significant person. We develop a place for ourselves in the world and build rules which we live by. Often children will strive for the basic human needs, such as approval or acceptance and unconditional love. If the child grows up not receiving this, they can develop negative internal beliefs such as not being worthy of love, low self esteem and perhaps also struggle with building good relationships with others. As a result of this the child can grow up feeling that he or she is the problem, nobody likes or loves them i.e. faulty beliefs.
As we grow older, we carry these false internal beliefs with us. We learn to reject ourselves and as a result develop insecurities from the pastimes as a child when we have felt we have not received approval or love. We can find ways to cope with these feelings, such as through avoidance, drink and drugs, distractions, striving to perfection, hiding who you are in view of feeling rejected. This can also impact on our mental health such as, anxiety, panic attacks, low self esteem, lack of confidence, eating problems, depression, anger, etc.
As a result of this, it stops us being the person we are capable of being, as we live by the rule that our inner child has experienced of not being good enough to be loved. So the inner child may live for approval from others. We as adults need to begin to make ourselves whole again and accept every part of who we are even our inner child. You can learn to communicate with your inner child and understand the experiences, to help you understand the reality you live in now.
By learning to understand your inner child, the emotions, experiences, thoughts and relationships, you will learn to better understand the person you are today. You will learn to accept who you are, have been and perhaps may be. You will learn to love and accept yourself. Your emotions, past experiences and thoughts will no longer control you. You will be able to challenge your faulty and irrational beliefs and create a new belief system which will work for you in the present and the future.