About Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Self-confidence and self-esteem are very different. People normally find it easier building their self-confidence than their self-esteem. Self-esteem is an internal experience. It relates to the way that we feel about ourselves, it reflects our inner sense of self-worth and entitlement whereas confidence is an external experience.

Self-confidence is a reflection of the way we experience ourselves in the external world i.e. in our relationships, other people and with situations and circumstances. Confidence can be learned and is very specific, we don’t actually need to feel confident about everything and that’s ok, but a lack of self-esteem can cause much greater difficulty in our lives.

If we lack in self-confidence but if we have a good self-esteem, we have a good foundation, we feel more resilient and more able to try something and regardless of the outcome, we still feel good about ourselves. However, if we have good self-confidence and low self-esteem, even if we achieve something for ourselves, we very rarely feel good about our achievements.

Seven golden rules of self-esteem:

  • Learn to listen to yourself
  • Turn off your inner critic
  • Become reflective rather than reactive
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Have a go and reward yourself for doing so, regardless of the outcome
  • Be supportive of your learning process
  • Validate your achievements, however small you may think they are

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